Sunday, February 24, 2013

Unforgiving Prayer

I awake early to pray but something is off, not right.  It occurs to me I am angry.   Upset.  I feel my rights have been violated by someone close to me. Could I talk to that person to try to make ammends?  No, much too early.  The sleepy sun hasn't even begun to peek over the horizon.  I try to pray, but it's like a hitting a brick wall.  Nothing comes so I sit.

I think of the scripture

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him so that your Father in heaven may forgive you.  Mark 11:25

I know that I can't talk to that person, but I can begin making amends.  I can forgive.  I tell God how I feel.  Confess that I've been too wrapped up in myself and too unconcerned with others.  I reflect on the millions of violations I've committed before a Holy God who lavishes his forgiveness on me time and time again.  Unforgiveness towards anyone seems like a selfish, unspeakable crime for someone like me who has been forgiven of so much.   I decide to forget when my flesh tries to remember.  I'll put those cruel, condemning thoughts out of my mind and remember how God has forgiven me time and time again.  I remember His Spirit in me, enabling me to exhibit divine forgiveness.  

 A breath of fresh air fills my soul.  

Finally, I can pray. 

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